Home Life
by Sweetest-Sammy
Summary: He was Reid Garwin and Garwin’s weren’t weak.He could remember his father telling him that when he was a small boy. Before he died, before he left Reid in this hell. Warning: abuse
1. Garwin's Aren't Cowards

_Heavily revamped! I am going back over and trying to do up my writing a little bit. In the process I am reacquainting myself with the series in order to write the promised final sequel. Yes, you heard me right. I will also be adding in SLASH so if that's not your cup of tea kindly leave now. Or read on, just don't flame me for it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my hopefully improved series. I've left the original authors notes in, just for posterity.

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_**Ok, this is kinda random, and done to death but it annoyed me that there was never any elaboration into anyone else's family situation and I thought I'd take a crack at it myself. I also noted that the behaviours Reid exhibits relate quite closely to those that are often portrayed as possessed by children with troubled family lives. Thus I put on the most depressing songs I own and proceeded to put Reid through as much pain, angst and fluffyness as I possibly could. I also tried to take slightly different approach to most people, you know, originality and all that.**_

_**Obviously Reid's name is not Luka however the song seemed to fit and thus I threw it in.**_

_**Warnings: Abuse and severe fluff  
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_**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Reid Garwin or in fact anything from the Covenant, I just happen to borrow him for my own sadistic pleasure. Neither do I own the song Luka by Suzanne Vega.**_

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Reid Garwin stumbled and fell. Again. He'd lost count on the third step. Since then there had only been...he waited patiently for his vision to stop blurring. Two landings. he looked up. Another three to go. It hurt, but he didn't say anything, didn't move for a moment, somehow it hurt less this way.

_My name is Luka_

_I live on the second floor_

_I live upstairs from you_

_Yes I think you've seen me before_

Once there would have been questions. When he was younger the bruises and cuts had always attracted attention, though it had faded into a passing interest from most people of the years. Everyone just assumed he'd been fighting. It was just Reid Garwin after all. Poor, brooding Reid Garwin. Beloved bad boy and scarred trouble maker. There were only three people who really took any notice anymore. Three people out of a whole schoolful to whom he was more than just the clown or the eye candy, something other than scenery. He would have to face Pogue's judgemental eyes and silent disapproval. Caleb's reprimands and yet another of his lectures about fighting against people who couldn't Use. And Tyler. Tyler would just stand there and look disappointed and slightly worried and that was the worst thing of all. Out of all of them it was always the thought of facing Tyler that made Reid's heart sink into his scuffed boots. It was Tyler's eyes that haunted his dreams. At least the less painful ones. Depending on how you looked at it.

_It's not me!_ Reid wanted to scream at them. _I don't choose to turn up to school looking like I've gone a few rounds with a heavy weight boxing champion. I don't enjoy having nothing left without washed out bloodstains somewhere on it._ But he didn't. He never would. Because he was Reid Garwin and Garwin's weren't weak. Garwin's didn't cry. Garwin's didn't lose their temper. Garwin's didn't scream. Reid had broken all of these precious commandments, left by his father, one by one. Except for the most important one. The one he held so close to his heart that no one would ever know. Especially not _Him._ Garwin's are never weak.

He could hear the echo of his father's voice saying those words, even now. Especially now. Years after the man had died. Years after he had abandoned Reid into this hell

_If you hear something late at night_

_Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight_

His mother might as well have been dead. Sometimes Reid wondered if life would be better off if she was. If they both were, she and him. Then he wouldn't have to hear her crying late at night. She wouldn't come in when he was lying on the carpet, bleeding and unable to move. She wouldn't come out from wherever she had been left and he wouldn't have to feel her soft tears on his skin. Wouldn't have to know how much she hurt and wouldn't know how much she hurt him. So he wouldn't have to know that she cared. That she just didn't love as much as she feared. Feared for him. Feared the man she had married. Feared the monster she had invited into the building that had once been her home and sanctuary.

_Just don't ask me what it was_

_Just don't ask me what it was_

_Just don't ask me what it was_

Reid didn't know why _He_ did it. Maybe because she loved him, loved her only son. Maybe _He_ was jealous of that love. And so _He_ tried to destroy it. Maybe _He_ hoped that the Reid whose battered body occupied the rooms of her house would no longer appeal to her. Maybe _He_ wanted to kill Reid, but was never quite brave, or stupid, enough to go that far. Maybe _He_ hoped one day Reid would die and she would come to him for comfort. Maybe _He_ just liked to cause pain.

_I think it's because I'm clumsy_

_I try not to talk too loud_

_Maybe it's because I'm crazy_

_I try not to act too proud_

Sometimes Reid would attract _His_ attention. Knock something over as he entered the house, make some sound trying to sneak up the stairs to his room, breathe too loudly. But mostly the man was just in a foul temper. A bad day at work, a bad day at home or something generally upsetting seemed to be enough for Reid to earn himself a thorough beating. Sometimes Reid though _He_ knew. _He_ knew what Reid had that _He_ didn't. Then he would push the thought out of his mind, superstitiously afraid that _He_ would somehow pluck it from him. That _He_ would really kill Reid in the hopes of taking that power. It was then that he wondered if he was going mad. That wasn't just stupid, it was crazy.

_They only hit until you cry_

_And after that you don't ask why_

_You just don't argue anymore_

_You just don't argue anymore_

_You just don't argue anymore_

He curled up in the corner. Sobs wrenching his body. Tears pouring down his face as freely as blood poured down his back. Soon _He_ would go away, Reid told himself, soon _He_ would leave and let him bleed in peace. Soon his mother would come, his friends would come, his father would come, anyone would come. Come and pull him off, stop the blows descending on his back. He felt the belt buckle cut into his back again as fresh tears poured down his face. He couldn't even scream, that much strength was beyond him. And so he lost himself in thoughts of a rescue that would never come. Drowned the pain with hope. But it never came. Surcease would come and he would pull himself, inch by painful inch, up to his room. And then he would cry himself to sleep and hope for a better tomorrow amidst dreams of darkness and violence. Before getting up to go and lie to the saviours he dreamt of yet again.

_Yes I think I'm okay_

_I walked into the door again_

_Well, if you ask that's what I'll say_

_And it's not your business anyway_

More questions. Another fight, an accident at home, anything as long as they didn't know. To them he was Reid Garwin, tough guy and bad boy extraordinaire and it would stay that way. It wasn't so hard, really, being the tough guy. They wondered why he picked fights, why he provoked everyone past endurance. He needed it. He loved to feel the blows rain down on him, tiny and ineffective, but more it was than that. He wanted to, loved to, needed to, lash out to fight back at anyone who hurt him. Because against them he knew he could win. But against him fighting only made it worse.

So he hid behind his mask and smiled at his tormentors. They were nothing. They knew nothing. And when Tyler looked at him with those big sad eyes he went out and drowned the thoughts with girls and beer and pretended he was a normal troubled teen. That he wasn't hiding the biggest secret of his life from people who should have been his brothers. Sometimes he wished the group weren't so tight knit.

_I guess I'd like to be alone_

_With nothing broken, nothing thrown_

_Just don't ask me how I am_

_Just don't ask me how I am_

He knew it was wrong, knew parents didn't treat their kids this way. But Garwin's were no cowards and he would take it. And no one would ever know.

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_**Ok, there are two directions I could take this fic. I could do the other two's home life's or I could do everyone's reactions to Reid and his various bruises and so forth. You people choose. Even if you don't care please review and tell me what you think of the fic. You read this far you must have some feelings about it.  
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_**Sammy**_


	2. Tyler's Acusing Eyes

**_I must say I am most pleased with the results for this fic. Ten reviews for one chapter! Normally I'm lucky to get three. I must be doing something right. Basically I decided to go with describing the other twos life with hints at whats happening with Reid, then I'll make them find out in a really dramatic way. But you have to review first!_**

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Tyler lay quietly on his bed. His room was dark, in fact the whole house was dark. He could almost imagine that he could feel the pressing against him. He was tired. So very, very tired. The darkness smothered him like a warm blanket. It weighed down on his eyelids and tried to push him under into the world of sleep. He was tempted. Tempted to let it pull him under and away into a place where everything was okay. Somewhere he could run to a mother's loving embrace. Somewhere his father was brave enough to face each day. Somewhere Reid didn't show up at the start of every week with cuts and bruises all over his skin, visible on his arms under his school uniform and more so when he changed for swimming competitions. But he always had some explanation or other. A fight over the weekend perhaps or a fall from a bike. Whatever it was Tyler was supposed to just stand there, gritting his teeth in a smile while Reid reminisced about his dangerous exploits. Sometimes he wondered if he was the only one who saw the desperation in his friends eyes as Caleb stood there and yelled at him and Pogue just stared. He generally dismissed it and tried not to show how much he cared.

He blinked and strained his ears as headlights from the distant road played over the ceiling but he didn't get up.

Long ago, when he was younger and still believed in happily ever afters he would eagerly watch every car on its lonely path. He would wait patiently for one to come up the driveway. But they never did. He didn't know why he waited any more. More habit that anything. Perhaps for the broken memories of love, or the warmth that haunted his dreams late at night. The memory of that little boy, peering so eagerly through rain and snow, was locked away deep inside. In a place Tyler never went anymore. A place that no one ever touched. He never touched the memories he kept locked in his heart. Never let them play in his minds eye. The good or the bad. Here and now was where he was stuck and no amount of wishful thinking would change that. He knew his father was downstairs somewhere. Sitting in the dark house watching memories on the insides of his blank eyes. But really he didn't care. He refused to become like that. To stay locked up in this house living with people he couldn't remember, in places he couldn't name. So instead he locked the memories away and threw himself into life outside. He studied for the grades he'd need to go to college when he graduated. He went out with the others and he worried about Reid. But still, every weekend, he found himself back here. Back in this dilapidated old building stuck staring at a locked door in his mind. His father had stopped leaving the house long ago. He had stopped exactly two weeks after Tyler's mother disappeared.

Tyler remembered it clearly, though he had only been thirteen at the time. It was just months before Reid's father had died and before Caleb's mother had started drinking.

_He remembered car door slamming and his father's voice, broken and pleading. He remembered how beautiful his mother had looked. She was wearing a jacket that he'd gone with her to buy. Her red curls were fixed neatly under a matching hat. He'd shut his eyes quickly as she entered his bedroom but the smell of her perfume and the rustle of her clothes gave her away as she moved. He remembered the feel of her lips, cool against his forehead. And spot on his cheek where the chain of her necklace had rested just for a moment before she stood back up and turned down the hall. _

_The clicking sound made by her heels had long faded when he dared raise a hand to touch the skin there, still feeling as if the metal rested against it. Somewhere between his cheek and his fingertips. He had thrown off the covers and crossed the padded carpet on bare, silent feet, to kneel in the window seat. His face pressed against the glass he peered down as best he could. He saw the front door open and the light spill out. Saw his mother's form, all dress in green. Saw his father follow her, his dark suit somber against the snow as he fell to his knees. He remembered the slam of the car door, the crunch of tires on the snow and the slow drift of headlights across the lawn.  
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_He remembered getting out of bed one night. The house was dark and cold and he was afraid. It had been like this for two weeks now and still no one came to light the lamps. Still he climbed into his parent's empty bed and shivered under the heavy quilt. He hadn't slept again that night. He had just huddled there, waiting for someone to come in. For the lights to turn on and his mother's voice to wonder,_

_"Tyler, you're far too old to be in here, go back to your own room sweetheart, we're just down the hall." And his father's strong arms would sweep him up and bear him away, back to his own cosy little room. And he would sleep safe the rest of the night knowing his parents would not let anything hurt him._

_Tyler's happy fantasies were broken as the door slammed open. He heard mens voices and crept down the hallway. His father had come stumbling in, obviously drunk, a more experienced Tyler had realised much later, and supported by his two best friends. Mr Garwin carefully steered the man towards his study while Mr Parry flicked the lights on and lifted Tyler up like his own father used to and carried him back to his room. Pogue's dad had tucked him in and smiled, though there was a sadness behind it. He had left, the glow from the hallway illuminating the room. Tyler had quietly closed his eyes, not wanting to do anything that might make his father leave too. But he couldn't sleep. Everything was all wrong. There had been no story and no gentle kiss. Mr Parry's big hands hadn't ruffled his hair like his father's always did. There was no soft conversation or gentle laughter to fill up the hallways. There was only the deep rumble of Mr Garwin's voice down the hall with no feminine note to lighten it.  
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_Tyler didn't know what had passed between the men that night but his father had never left the mansion again._

_The next day a nanny came in and began to care for Tyler. She stocked the kitchen and it was her who tucked him back into bed at night. But he never crept to her room in the dead of the night. She raised him as best she could while his father just sat in the study, staring into the fire..._

Damnit. Tyler threw himself off his bed and paced the room restlessly before leaning his forehead against the icy window and sighing. He watched as his breath formed a misty patch on the surface and he watched it fade away. He had promised he would not do this to himself. He would not let himself remember her this way, this year. But every year he made that promise and every year he broke it. He swore bitterly at himself. He refused to end up like his father, a dried up old husk sitting in the present but living in the past.

He grabbed his jacket. He was going out. He would call Reid and…

He slumped back down onto the bed. It was the weekend. Reid was always busy with 'other friends' on the weekends. No matter who he asked Tyler could never figure out who these 'other friends' were. Reid always waved him off and said it was nothing important. Tyler occasionally whimsically considered following Reid on these weekend trips. Perhaps he could find out who got Reid into so much trouble when he went home and beat them into a pulp. He rolled his eyes at himself. Yeah, that would be totally appropriate. And it would, of course, bring Reid to his doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. What Reid did on the weekend, and to himself, was his own business. It didn't matter that Tyler shared in his biggest secret. It didn't matter that Tyler would through himself in front of a speeding truck for the guy. Without magic. It was Reid's business and Tyler wasn't going to interfere.

He sighed again. Maybe it wasn't right anyway. Doing anything that might be taken as celebratory tonight. Though how going out and getting as drunk as he could didn't strike him as terribly joyous. Reid would be proud of the stupid impulses running through his mind. But, because he was not Reid Garwin, because he was Tyler Simm he dropped the jacket and, with another sigh, he lay back against his pillows and gave himself over to the darkness and a fitful night full of restless dreams of forgotten touches and merry laughter.

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**_Awww, did that make anyone else feel somewhat sad? Now I wish to pose a question which I already posed to my sister...should I kill Reid? (You should have seen her face -cracks up laughing-) Now review and tell me what you thought. And what you think I'm going to do to Pogue. And if you think I should kill Reid. And how you think they'll find out about Reid. And...oh yeah...what you thought of the story! Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers._**

**_Sammy_**


	3. Pogue's Heart

**_TEN REVIEWS OVERNIGHT!! I love you guys! And thus have decided to update today instead of tomorrow._**

**_ Disclaimer: Do not own Pogue Parry, though I do own his sister...kinda. Neither do I own the song My Last Breath by Evanescence although it is a wonderful song._**

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Another note for you at the end of the chapter._**

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_Hold on to me love_

_You know I can't stay long_

_All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid_

_Can you hear me?_

_Can you feel me in your arms?_

Pogue could feel tears stinging his eyes even as the heavy stink of disinfectants and the musty smell of his sister's wasted body stung his nose. She reached out a trembling hand on the end of an arm like a stick.

"Don't cry for me Bear." Her voice was dry and reedy as she brushed her thumb under his eye before the tear had time to fall. He felt his body tremble. Her skin felt like paper and her touch was so gentle, so weak, that he felt more tears threaten.

"I don't know what we'll do without you." He confided. And it was true. His parents hadn't taken the news that their fifteen-year-old ward was dying at all well. His mother had broken down right here in the room and had to be gently pulled away by the nurse for a calming cup of tea. Perhaps worse was his father who had stormed out denying it and raging about stupid incompetent hospital staff. Pogue sighed, this was why he had moved out. The only reason he ever came home was to see her and now that she would be gone soon…

He didn't realise she had put her arms around him and he wrapped his own around her carefully, trying not to crush her fragile body. She was so small and delicate. It was almost like she was already gone. He held on tight and his sobs shook her whole body as she patted his back with her tiny hands.

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you?_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

She was sleeping now. They didn't know how much longer, they didn't even know if she would wake up this time. The wonders of modern science. He never left for more than a few minutes though, determined not to leave her alone. There was no one else to sit by her bedside, his parents were so absorbed in their own little worlds; pretending everything was alright.

He poked his head around the door and found her clear blue eyes fixed on him. Clearer than they usually were. More lucid.

"Hey." She smiled softly up at him and he sat down beside her. A beam of light slipped through the curtains and fell across the top of her head, lighting up her brittle blonde hair in a blazing mass of gold. In that moment it struck him just what an angel he had for a little sister.

_I'll miss the winter_

_A world of fragile things_

_Look for me in the white forest_

_Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)_

_I know you hear me_

_I can taste it in your tears_

"I wonder if they have snow where I'm going." Pogue jerked and opened his eyes. The chair was not the most comfortable place to sleep but he had refused the nurses earlier offers of a more comfortable place…and a date. He looked over at his sister's bed. Someone had drawn the curtains and turned the small bedside lamp on. It lit the room with a warm, cosy glow and lent some colour to his sister's pale cheeks.

She was staring off into the shadowy corners of the room, her eyes unfocussed. Not one of her better days then.

"I'd like to play in the snow again." Her soft voice trailed off.

He mind was clearing wandering. Disoriented. The doctors had said this might happen. He leant over and carefully wrapped both of his large hands around hers. She jumped slightly and turned her head, her eyes suddenly seeing him. Lighting up and clearing. He fancied that there was reproach in them. She wasn't losing it. She simply operated on a different plane to the one his thoughts ran along. She saw an intricate painting where he saw only a straight line.

"I was just wondering." She whispered. Then she smiled gently and leant back into her pillows, exhausted by the small amount of contact with a world that had hurt her so. Dwarfed by the pile, she closed her eyes slowly. Still smiling, even in her sleep.

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you?_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

He gently pulled the blankets up to her chin.

"You should sleep some more." He whispered.

Outside the door he could hear his father having another of his shouting matches with the hapless hospital staff. Pogue didn't know what they were arguing about and this time he really didn't care. It wasn't worth being shouted over. He'd moved out to get away from his father's stupid bouts of temper and the only reason he was enduring the man at the moment was because of the tiny girl in front of him and the fact that this might be the last time he would be able to speak with her, hold her in his arms. The voices outside increased their volume as the speakers moved closer to the room and he saw a frown mar his sister's calm forehead. He ran a large hand over her hair, smoothing back the wrinkles as he tugged gently at the knots that being bed bound for so long had left.

"Sleep now. I promise I'll be here when you wake up." Reassured she closed her eyes again and her laboured breathing evened out a little. A little less than it had last time. He wondered, just like he did every time she closed her eyes, if he would be able to keep his promise? Would she wake up again?

_Closing your eyes to disappear_

_You pray your dreams will leave you here_

_But still you wake and know the truth_

_No one's there_

He had only left her for a minute but when he got back he found her weakly bleating his name, her eyes searching wildly. He had quickly dropped the extra blankets he had brought and grabbed one of her hands, gently pushing her back onto her pillows. She sighed, her voice even thinner than it had been before.

"I thought you'd left me."

"I was only gone for a minute." He reassured.

"Please..." Her voice had dropped even lower into a harsh whisper and she pulled him down, her breath hardly reaching his ear "I don't want to die alone. Please don't let me go. Pogue didn't know how to respond to that. He couldn't deny it, should he lie? But he settled for pulling her into a hug, which she gratefully accepted, and switching the talk to happier times. Telling her stories when he could see the effort of communication grow too much. Lifting the cup to her lips when her mouth grew too dry for her to make a sound as the blankets lay forgotten by the door.

_Say goodnight_

_Don't be afraid_

_Calling me _

_Calling me as you fade to black_

She smiled up at him sweetly as her grip loosened and Pogue wondered if she even saw him or the dim room around them. His father had finally stopped shouting. Apparently someone had found a medical professional to out shout him and the man seemed to be suffering from shock. His mother was sobbing somewhere in the background. He felt her go, saw her eyes close and felt her hand slip from his, but somehow he didn't believe she was gone. He stood up, not sure what he was looking for but certain it would help her. He wandered out and away and within seconds was speeding along the road on his bike.

When reality finally broke in he had to stop. He found himself far away and he was alone. He finally accepted that it was over. For her and for them. After nine long, hard years of illness and pain, midnight rushes to the hospitable as they desperately tried to stop it consuming her body, she was gone. She was free. And so was he. No more excuses about his homework or to Kate and his friends. But if he was free why did he feel like his heart had been torn still beating from his chest. He broke down, tears pouring over his unshaven cheeks as he sobbed on the soaking grass under a tree in the middle of nowhere.

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you?_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

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**_Sorry if this chapter seems a bit disconnected: it's meant to be snippets of the time he spends with his sister over her last couple of days._**

**_ Now there's my shocking revelation of Reid's abuse. Which, if you all review, could be up in the next two days. There might not be an update for a while after that as I sleep off the effects of the newest Harry Potter Book -dances- Excited!  
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**_Sammy _**


	4. Caleb's Call

**_Alright, well I decided to throw a little bit of Caleb in here just for a sense of completeness and besides…it seemed the perfect way to torture you all before I torture Reid. Still confused? Read on…or Reid on…ha.

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Caleb sighed. It had been a long night and he could see it stretching longer ahead of him. He had just caught his mother sneaking downstairs for the third time since he had put her to bed at eight. It was now ten thirty.  
He wondered if this would all be different should his father still be alive and alright. He was supposed to be the unruly and rebellious teenager, sneaking downstairs after the house had gone to sleep to have a few drinks. His father was supposed to be the man of the house. Catching when he was halfway drunk was practically his role in later life and Caleb wished dearly that his father was the one doing the dragging right now and he was the one being dragged. Instead here he was, carefully manoeuvring his tearful mother along the upstairs hallway and into her bedroom.

After he had finally got her into bed he shut the door and leant his back on it. He was just preparing himself to go get sheets and make up one of the guest rooms which had the disadvantage of being small and cold and smelling funny, however they happened to be in between his mothers room and the alcohol and if he had to sleep in there to keep her from drinking herself to death then he would.

He felt his phone ring against his hip and pulled it out. Expecting Sarah, or possibly Pogue, as he glanced at the screen he was surprised to see Tyler's name flashing on the tiny piece of technology. He slid it open and held it to his ear.

"What's up Ty?" He asked casually as he made his way downstairs. He turned right at the bottom to go to the linen cupboard then froze, half turning to face the door.

"He' WHERE?"

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**_HAHAHAHAHA aren't I evil? Now review and I'll actually give you the Reid angst. If Dean doesn't kill me the next time she sees me…Remember: if I die I can't update! So please don't kill me. I just wanted to leave it on a cliff hanger, most probably the only one in this story, but come on, it had to have one! …I am so dead…but you could at least review before/while you kill me, I won't be able to appreciate them if it's after._**

**_Sammy_**


	5. Tourniquet

**_Alright alright, here you go. Read and be happy. Then tell me what you thought._**

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Reid wasn't sure how long it had been since school finished, he had been unconscious for most of them. He usually survived his holidays by spending as much time as he could either at his friend's houses or drunk in the back of someone's car. This year some things had changed. Pogue had always had a girlfriend, but after coming clean with Kate after Chase he had been spending a lot more time with her. Caleb had finally let go and found himself a girl. It was a good thing, Reid assured himself, he wanted his friends to be happy. And Tyler had gone on exchange for two weeks. Good for him.

Reid didn't know what it was. Maybe this was a one off thing and he'd be able to hide at their houses again soon or maybe they were just growing apart. The others all growing up and leaving him behind. It was this dark spiral of thought that had started on his path downwards towards self destruction.

_I tried to kill the pain_

_But only brought more_

He gasped as the gleaming blade cut into his skin but as every time before he kept going. Even when blood welled up around the blade. Even when he hit bone. It hurt. But it was pain that he controlled. No one was forcing it upon him, he had chosen this pain. Like the fights and the drugs and the alcohol, but better, because this lasted so much longer. He had started not long after those temporary measures had proven to be fleeting relief. Two, maybe three years ago. It didn't really matter anymor

_I lay dying_

_And I'm pouring crimson regret _

_And betrayal_

He watched his blood pour across the floor and wondered dully if he would be hit for that. He didn't really care anymore. It felt good. The blood carried away all the other pain. He frowned down at his arm, almost as if he wondered how the cut had got there. This one might leave a scar. That wasn't good, he though muzzily, the others might say something. He supposed he could say he got it in a bike accident.

Yeah, the other Reid thought, the one who hid as soon as he came home for the weekend, a tragic event watched by several hot girls.

But if the others saw this one they might start to look more closely, they might notice the lattice of tiny scars which marred Reid's skin.

_I'm dying _

_Praying _

_Bleeding _

_And screaming_

Someone was calling to him. He could hear his name, whispered over and over above his head. Someone was screaming too, far away in the distance. Maybe it wasn't that far away he thought, maybe he just couldn't hear them. He didn't know. The voice sounded familiar. Who would be screaming? Shouldn't he be screaming? He opened his mouth slightly and the voice above him cried something. They sounded happy, but maybe not. He raised his arm, just in case they tried to hit him. Something dripped onto his forehead. It was red. There was blood on his arm. Why was there blood on his arm? His thoughts twisted themselves into strange shapes as he was dragged back down into darkness.

_Am I too lost to be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

He wondered if this was dying. It wasn't particularly nice. There was no tunnel, no bright light, no soft voice. It was very dark. Not dark like unconsciousness but dark like when he came and so Reid associated that dark with his own pain. If this was dying though it would mean no more pain, he didn't think about his friends or his brothers, they would go on without him. They never really knew this Reid anyway, they thought they did but the boy they all laughed at, all argued or partied with was only a half Reid. They didn't know him, they never had.

_My God my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_My God my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

Something was chasing him through the darkness now. He could hear harsh breaths behind him and feel them on his neck. He knew it was catching him and whatever happened next would be bad. He didn't want anything to catch him ever again and so he kept running.

_Do you remember me?_

_Lost for so long_

_Will you be on the other side?_

_Or will you forget me_

"Reid." He didn't know if he was dreaming or dead or simply remembering. But his father stood before him. He smiled and held out his arms.

"Dad." Tears stung his eyes as he leaned into his father's broad chest. He buried his face in his shirt and sobbed in his arms. Suddenly whatever had been chasing Reid dashed out of the darkness and latched onto him. He cried out in terror and tried to throw it off, tearing himself out of his fathers grip and falling.

"Reid you have to open your eyes." Suddenly his father was Tyler and _he_ was gripping Reid's hand, not some nightmarish monster. Reid stared up at his friend, tear tracks marring his face. Then his eyes rolled back up into his head and he fell into nightmares once more.

_I'm dying _

_Praying _

_Bleeding _

_And screaming_

_Am I too lost to be saved_

_Am I too lost?_

A maze now, and at every turn a dead end. He didn't know where he was or where he was going. Panicked he broke into a run and then he was falling again. Staring up at the sky one of his favourite memories of his father whispered in his ear. "You were never really lost. All you had to do to get out was turn left..." He stood up climbed unsteadily to his feet. Looking around he found the all his paths led to the right. Frustrated he gave up and sat down at the base of the statue. He felt tears coming to his eyes. A sneering voice whispered in his ear

"Tears already. You little coward."

_My God my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_My God my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

"Why!" He yelled at a stormy sky "Why do you hate me!" He remembered when his new father had first come. He had been eager and excited, thinking all fathers would be as nice as his real one. His mother had introduced him timidly then left the room, leaving her boys to 'get to know each other' she had not returned until Reid lay beaten and bloody later that night. He had cried quickly that first day. It had taken a little longer the next day, and even longer the next.

_(I want to die)_

_My God my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_My God my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

He felt them, all around him, trying to bring him back.

"Let me go." He tried to tell them, "I want this." But he was too weak. Perhaps he was still trying to convince himself. He had not forgotten the dream in the dark. It had felt far too like the darkling last year for him to dismiss it and he didn't think he was ready to face that thing again. Not yet.

_My wounds cry for the grave_

_My soul cries for deliverance_

His arms hurt. His back hurt and his legs hurt. His head positively pounded and he wondered if anyone had ever died from a headache. It was warm this time. Well at least that meant he probably wasn't on the floor. Had he collapsed into bed? Or had his mother helped him, half delirious, up the stairs. He wasn't sure and he didn't care at the moment all that mattered was the fact that he was warm and safe. At least for now. Maybe he had died and they would just let him stay here. He would like that.

_Will I be denied_

_Christ_

_Tourniquet_

_My suicide_

_

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**There you go, Reid angst, I hope it was to your taste; please let me know what you thought. And you know how to do that? REVIEW!**_

**_Sammy_**


	6. Cloud Nine

**_Ok, here's another chapter. Now how many reviews can you give me? I had at least ten on the first few chapters but it's gone down since then. Come on, can we get it up to ten again? Then maybe I'll update sooner._**

**___Disclaimer: If I owned them this would probably have at least featured in the first movie and would soon be coming out as a sequel. Sadly I don't. Nor do I own the song Cloud Nine by Evanescence. Yes Evanescence again, they really do fit into this a lot…hmmmm

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_**

_If you want to live, let live_

_If you want to go, let go_

_I'm not afraid to dream- to sleep, sleep forever_

Tyler sat in the hospital. It smelt funny. _There was blood everywhere._ It was unusually clean. _Soaking into the carpet._ The lights were so bright it was making his head hurt. _Dripping down Reid's arms._ He rested it in his palms, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. _Reid's skin was unnaturally pale under the blood , as if all the colour in him had dripped down to his forearms. _He carefully tried to block out all the light, but a red glow shone through at the corners, reminding him of the blood. _He had lifted him, feeling how light his friend was. _How had they missed this?_ How had they let it go this far. _

_I don't need to touch the sky_

_I just want to feel that high_

_And you refuse to lift me_

He had been worried. He was always worried. Worried enough to try calling Reid. Worried enough to drive over when he didn't answer his phone or his messages. But he couldn't lie to himself. Part of it had been his need to get away. Get away from that stifling house and do something with the desperation he always felt when he was there. He'd picked up some dvd's and a packet of chips on his way over. He hadn't been to Reid's house in...when he thought about it, not since just after his mum had left. He'd always been too busy looking after his father. He wondered why he thought that could make it ordinary again.

And now he was sitting here. In the emergency ward, waiting. Waiting until Reid came out of...wherever they had taken him. Waiting for someone to tell him what was going on. A nurse came out and looked around. He lifted his head and met her eyes. She nodded at him and beckoned him over. He stood and moved towards her.

"Your friend," She spoke before he could say anything, "Mr Garwin. We don't think he's going to make it." Tyler blinked at her for a moment. Wasn't going to make it, Reid wasn't going to…it finally sunk in. Reid, they didn't think Reid was going to make it. No. Reid had to make it. Tyler needed Reid. There had to be something he could do…

_Guess it wasn't real after all_

_Guess it wasn't real all along_

He was sitting beside the bed. Reid still hadn't regained consciousness. He looked worse now. His hair almost white against the sheet. His skin somehow paler without the blood. Surrounded by machines, the blips of the monitor, loud in this private ward, measuring out the beats of Reid's life. They said he'd lost too much blood, that he was bleeding somewhere deep inside. They had hooked him up to a bag of blood, one of the many needles feeding into his arm, but they didn't think it'd be enough. Didn't think he'd pull through.

Tyler bent over him, eyes shimmering black. The air around them seemed somehow thicker as he rested his hands on his friend. One on Reid's head, one over his heart. It would be ok, they didn't know Reid like Tyler did. And they didn't know Tyler like Tyler did.

_If I fall and all is lost_

_It's where I belong_

_If you want to live, let live_

_If you want to go, let go_

_I'm never gonna be your sweet, sweet surrender_

He could feel Reid's mind. Slipping away and as fast as he pushed his power towards it, into Reid's body, it slipped away faster. Desperate he formed a net and threw it towards it, feeling it catch on something. Hoping it was his friend, know there was no time for another try, he pulled. Lips moving soundlessly in a mantra of hope he hauled back with his mind.

"Don't leave me Reid."

_Guess it wasn't real after all_

_Guess it wasn't real all along_

_If I fall and all is lost_

_No light to lead the way_

_Remember that all alone is where I belong_

It fought him. Pulled against him as he dragged it upwards into the light. Tried desperately to descend. Thrashing to escape his net and making flames race across his vision as he sank even deeper into the magic, dipping into reserves he didn't even know he had. It fleetingly crossed his mind that he was probably burning off years of his life. But at the moment he didn't care. He didn't know what kind of life it would be without Reid by his side.

"You can't die Reid. Don't let go. You're stronger than this. You're not weak." He could feel more tears choking his voice and his grip on the life force slipping through his grip. Then suddenly it was rising. Rising up to him through the darkness and he could see something below. It wasn't that Reid was glowing it was just that there was a different texture to the darkness below him. It seemed to be protecting something, shielding it, not hiding it from his sight.

_In a dream_

_Will you give your love to me_

_Beg my broken heart to beat_

_Save my life_

_Change my mind_

"Please Reid. Don't die."He whispered again. Then he felt his hand, the one resting on Reid's chest, lift as Reid sucked in a breath. He sat up slightly and the monitor started beeping like crazy. Tyler grinned down at his friend. Simply glad that he was alive as he leant forward to wrap his arms around him. For a moment he closed his eyes, inhaling his friends scent and just being content.

_If I fall and all is lost_

_No light to lead the way_

_Remember that all alone is where I belong_

Tyler paced up and down.

"Broken ribs, badly healed ribs, broken arm that had healed crooked, broken ankle, extensive blood loss, beating marks, scars all over your body. Reid I'd say that's more than a few accidents."

"So I'm an active boy. I've been in a few fights and I didn't know how badly they were hurt." Tyler spun and caught Reid's eye for a moment. There was some fear there, though Tyler couldn't imagine what he was afraid of here with him. He'd go to the ends of the earth to protect his blonde friend. Then Reid tore his gaze away and went back to shoveling down the food the hospital served like it was ambrosia. Tyler shook his head and dismissed those worries. He would deal with them once he'd got the bottom of these ones. Though when that would be he wasn't sure.

"She said the bones were nearly hanging out of your arm. Broken the skin Reid!"

"Tyler I can handle it. It's not that big a thing."

"Reid I'd say it is that big a thing if you're trying to kill yourself to get out."

"I am not trying to kill myself!"

"The knife was in your hands Reid."

"I was framed then." The boy tried to smirk, but the hospital pyjamas detracted from the effect. Somehow he just looked lost and Tyler was reminded of the expression Reid had worn at his own fathers funeral. That was the last time he had seen the blonde son cry.

"No Reid, you weren't"

Tyler noticed a change come over his friend. His shoulders slumped and a shadow that had nothing to do with power crossed his eyes.

"Just…just don't tell the others."

* * *

**_Has Tyler promised Reid not to tell? If he has what will they tell the others? What do you think?_**

**_On another note that apparently has people worried: it's okay, I would never kill Reid off, I just wanted to see your responses. Surprised Shadowmayne fell for it though. I already did it to her once (her facial expression was hilarious). I have come to the conclusion that you don't want me to kill Reid anyway, I'm glad we are in agreement on this point. Too late to kill him now. Shadowmayne made me promise to write a sequel under threat of breaking my pinky. Ah well. Taking ideas for a sequel, I have a few and I'll put them up at the end plus any good ones you guys give me. Now review and tell me what you think._**

**_Sammy_**


	7. Numb

_Ok, so I decided to include this rather than leaving it as a separate story. Plus it bumped it up and got a whole heap of people interested again. :D

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_

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well, at first, I thought it would stop soon. I thought things would settle down after a while. Thought he would leave me alone."

"And later?"

"Later, as things got worse, I just couldn't. I didn't know how and…"

"And what?"

"And I didn't want to be weak."

"Reid you were never weak. You have always been the strongest of us. But what he's done to you is disgusting. You're only seventeen and it was his job to look after you and he's not only not done that but he's gone out of his way to hurt you."

"I could have Used on him."

"No Reid, you did the right thing. Although it's not exactly what I would have expected of you. Why didn't you Use?"

"I just couldn't. It was like the part of me that holds my power and the part of me that let me hit out at Aaron had just died."

"Fear I suppose."

"Maybe. It was like I was a different person. A person who was scared of everything."

"As opposed to fearing nothing?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well maybe they're both part of the person who we used to know. The one who had a normal number of fears."

"Maybe they do."

* * *

**_Ok, so that was dedicated to Shadowmayne. You're my big sister and I would die for you._**

**_Extra brownie points for anyone who can tell me where that quote is from._**

**_Sammy_**


	8. Lies

**_Well you're all such wonderful reviewers that I decided to update now instead of later. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. But I'd like to dedicate this to one of you in particular, Shadowmayne this one is for you hopefully it'll brighten up your bad day.

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_**

Caleb arrived at the hospital approximately twenty minutes after he got the phone call from Tyler and considering he lived an hour's drive away that was quite a feat. He ran into Pogue in reception. He assumed his friend had traveled at similar speeds to reach the hospital, likewise panicked by the frantic tone in Tyler's voice. So he dismissed the slightly sickened look on his friends face, unconciously storing it away in his mind for later. The pair hurried to the desk and patiently explained that no, this was not an emergency, that yes, they were here to visit their friend, that no, they didn't know what ward he was in. At this last revelation the bored looking nurse directed them to another desk where another gum popping nurse waited. In this way they were handed along until at last they came to a lovely, helpful woman, who Pogue looked at like she reminded him of someone, who said she could lead them to where Reid was. They ended up in fact back at the emergency room, which was where they had come in. Another bored looking nurse was manning the desk, which struck Caleb as lucky because by this point he was tired and annoyed and ready to give her a piece of his mind.

The woman pushed open doors of a nasty, bland, greyish colour and strode along the corridor talking to them over her shoulder as she led them through a warren of twists and turns.

"Interns." She jerked her head back at the doors, "Can't stand them. No help at all." Caleb grinned and she flashed him a charming smile.

"Mr Garwin, your…friend?" She half asked. Caleb nodded.

"He came in about half an hour ago in a pretty bad condition. The young man with him, Mr Simm?" Again Caleb nodded. "He wasn't doing so well either, really worried. I must admit he had me worried for a bit there too. Very touch and go there for a while. You wouldn't happen to know what happened would you?" This time both boys shook their heads, Pogue obviously making an effort to concentrate.

"Well anyway, your friend pulled him through, it was amazing." Caleb closed his eyes, _he didn't..._

"Almost like magic!" Caleb glanced at Pogue who was looking around uncomfortably and another thought struck him. This was the hospital Kate had been in after Chase attacked her, it probably brought back bad memories. The nurse followed Caleb's eyes and seemed to notice Pogue for the first time and her mouth opened briefly in shock. They walked the rest of the way through the twists and turns of the hospital hallways in silence and Caleb found the silence oppressive. He tried to count the turns they took but soon gave up.

Eventually they stopped in front of another door, indistinguishable from the rest of the doors along the hallway. It was a mystery to Caleb how the nurse knew which door to stop beside. He briefly entertained the thought that the hospital was really some kind of super computer and she was just a hologram. But he quickly dismissed it. His life couldn't be a fantasy story and a sci-fi movie, it just wouldn't be right. The nurse glanced nervously at Pogue. Caleb raised his eyebrows. She didn't seem to notice and suddenly a mouthful of words spilled out of her mouth all in a rush.

"I'm very sorry for your loss Mr Parry." And apparently having said what she wanted to say she scurried off along the corridor. He looked at Pogue, but the thunderous expression on his friends face as he stormed off after her told him it probably wasn't a good time to hunt him down for a conversation on the strange things nurses pushed open the door insted. One chair sat beside Reid's bed and it was currently occupied by Tyler, who looked exhausted. Reid was awake and looking somewhat the worse for wear. Propped up on pillows and covered in bruises he nevertheless managed to smile cheekily up at Caleb as he sat down in the chair Tyler had vacated for him with an apprehensive glance.

"Didn't know you cared this much." Caleb frowned at his friend. Reid made a show of peering over his shoulder and a mock frown crossed his face.

"I thought Pogue might come too." He spoke lightly but Caleb noticed the hurt in his friends eyes and the way Tyler watched him carefully. The apprehension had even vanished, replaced by a strange tight expression.

"So what happened?" Caleb asked, leaning forward. Reid glanced over his shoulder and Caleb half turned in his seat to see that his eyes had met Tyler's. He looked between the two of them as their gazes held for a minute. Then Tyler inclined his head slightly and lowered his line of sight, submitting to Reid's wishes. Reid once again focussed his eyes on Caleb and smiled nervously.

"Well Tyler found me, I just passed out after a bit of a bike accident. My parents were out and I got myself home, thinking I was just bashed around a bit. I woke up here later." Reid looked over his shoulder again and Tyler pushed himself off the wall, coming forward to sit on Reid's bed.

"Yeah, I was a bit worried 'cause he wasn't returning my calls…" As Tyler spoke Caleb eyed the bandages on Reid's arms and his pale complexion dubiously.

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**_Now review and tell me what you thought and maybe you can persuade me to update faster...you never know miracles might happen.  
_**

_**Sammy**  
_


	9. Like You

**_Yeah, this is supposed to be about all of their lives so I'm using the end of this story to wrap up Pogue's issues I guess. Then the sequel will deal with Reid and Tyler, mainly Reid._**

**_Also, someone asked if I'd killed Kate. No I didn't kill Kate. This story fits with the cannon of the movie it simply sees beyond that and into their lives. The person who died in chapter three was Pogue's sister. Who has no name. Now read the story and enjoy._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly, and neither do I own the song Like You by Evanescence, much as I wish I owned any of the above. I am not making any money and I promise to put the guys back where I found them after even if they are a little bit damaged.

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_**

_Stay low._

_Soft, dark, and dreamless,_

_Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness._

_I hate me,_

_For breathing without you._

_I don't want to feel anymore for you._

Pogue strode along the corridors for a while before realising he had lost the nurse. He hadn't really wanted to catch her anyway. He didn't particularly want to talk to her. He didn't particularly want to talk to anyone. He felt a sudden need to be out under the sky. He felt trapped. Like he was waiting beside her bed again. Held there by chains of loyalty and love.

He wondered if this was how she had felt when they had carried her into the hospital for the last time. Had she known this would be the last time she would see the sky? Had she even seen it? Or had darkness clouded her vision. He hated her then, for leaving him when he still had so much love to give. He hated himself for not going with her. Not being brave enough to follow her into the darkness.

_Grieving for you,_

_I'm not grieving for you._

_Nothing real love can't undo,_

_And though I may have lost my way,_

_All paths lead straight to you._

He didn't know now. Didn't know how to get to her. She was gone but he could still feel her. It was like she was watching him. Like he had fallen asleep by her bedside and she had woken up first. She always seemed to love watching him, as if his life made her feel more alive. Maybe she was watching him from somewhere. Maybe she was waiting. Maybe he should join her. He would meet her again. Maybe. If she had gone somewhere. If she hadn't simply ceased to exist.

_I long to be like you,_

_Lie cold in the ground like you._

He couldn't imagine her gone. Just gone. Her eyes dull and pale, clouded by darkness. Her sharp wit and imagination lost forever. He couldn't imagine her golden hair dulling. Covered by her grave. Hidden and rotting until nothing was left. Gone. Forever.

_Blinding wall between us._

_Melt away and leave us alone again._

_The humming, haunted somewhere out there._

_I believe our love can see us through in death._

He still saw her in his dreams. She could walk and they would play in the sunlight and talk lying in the grass. It all felt so real. Sometimes it was more real than the days he spent with the boys he considered his brothers. Sometimes he wondered why she had left him and even though he knew it was unfair he somehow couldn't help but blame her for going. He knew that she hadn't wanted to, knew they should have had years left to fight and play together. It was fate, not choice, which had ripped them apart.

_I long to be like you,_

_Lie cold in the ground like you._

_There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,_

_I'm coming for you._

One day they would be together. One day he would see her again. But until then was every reminder going to burn like this? Was it always going to drag across the raw hole in his heart every time someone mentioned her name? Every time he visited a hospital? Or the places she had liked to visit.

_You're not alone,_

_No matter what they told you, you're not alone._

_I'll be right beside you forevermore._

She had been so scared, the first time they brought her to the hospital. There had been new people and machines and needles. She had only been six at the time. His parents had left the room, telling her not to be a baby that she was a big girl and it was time she started to be brave. But he had stayed with her. He had held her hand when they put various needles in her arms and carried her out when she had fallen asleep. Struggling to hold her in his eight year old arms.

_I long to be like you, sis,_

_Lie cold in the ground like you did._

_There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you._

He was the one who had held her when she cried. He was the one who had researched her condition. Learned to give her the various medicines. He had stayed home on weekends and come home early to look after her. To talk with her. To sit beside her and read to her. Anything so long as he could help her. Protect her. And in the end it hadn't mattered. He hadn't been able to do anything. She had died anyway. And he was left alone again.

_And as we lay in silent bliss,_

_I know you remember me._

He remembered those evenings. After carrying her up the stairs to her bed her would read to her. She had always loved reading of any kind. They would lie together on her huge double bed as they made their way through histories and fictions together. Enjoying themselves immensely and hiding in a place where neither of them were sick or afraid.

_I long to be like you,_

_Lie cold in the ground like you._

_There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,_

_I'm coming for you._

One day they would be together again but for now he would wait. And deal with life as it came at him.

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**_Ok, so that was just me wrapping up Pogue's issues, mainly just randomness. Let me know what you thought and I'll update as soon as I can be bothered._**

**_I would also like to call for a round of virtual applause for Shadowmayne without whose constant reminders this chapter would have been much, much later._**

**_Sammy_**


	10. Getting Out

**_I was asked what Pogue's sister died of and here's my answer: I don't know. Something lingering since she had it for nine years and was in and out of hospital before she died. I'm trying to keep the details vague because I don't want the story to be taken over by OC's as my characters are no where near as good as those from the Covenant and are only there as plot devices, not as anything significant. So there's my answer to JessicaRose, other review replies below._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own them and no matter how much I beg I don't think I'll be getting them for my birthday either._**

**_animegurl715: Yes, I do like Evanescence songs. And no, probably no more suicides, at least this story…mwahahahaha_**

**_Shiek 2: lol, well here's your update. Don't know about Caleb but Pogue gets one more chapter and Tyler's issues will be resolved in the sequel, all the more reason to read it. How come you'er so sleepy?_**

**_Shadowmayne: don't we all just want to hug all of them –sigh-_**

**_exitlight: yes, I seem to use rather a lot of Evanescence songs…creepy that.

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Reid limped out of the hospital, not really sure what to expect. The nurse had just poked her head around the door and told him his lift was here. He hadn't even known he was going to be allowed out today. He wondered who was here to pick him up. Certainly not his mother, she hadn't left the house since she'd remarried. And not _Him_, he probably hadn't even noticed that Reid had disappeared. He never noticed when Reid spent days away from the house. Whether he was at his friends' houses or drunk into oblivion somewhere on the streets after a really bad beating _He_ never cared. So who else could be here to sign him out? Caleb perhaps, come to interrogate him about his injuries. Reid didn't think he'd believed the story he and Tyler had come up with. But then he had swallowed every other story Reid had fed him over the past four years. Maybe not Caleb then.

He reached the sterile waiting lounge. He didn't remember coming through here. He would have been unconscious at the time, if they'd brought him through here at all. Maybe the others had sat here. Had Tyler been forced to wait in this cheerless room while he waited to hear if his friend had survived or not? Had it been here that they had told him they were rapidly losing control of Reid's condition? Tyler had used all the leverage supplied by the long wait to winkle Reid's story out of him. Had it been here he had decided to use his own powers to pull Reid back from the edge? Or had the come later, in the room, forced to watch his friend slip away while knowing he could at least try to stop it.

He wondered, if it had been Caleb sitting beside his bed last night, would he have done it? Would the most powerful of them have reached out to try and stop the darkness finally claiming the friend he had fought so hard to protect from its pull? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't sure if Tyler should have done it either. He finally reached the tinted doors and had to pause a moment, gathering his strength before pushing them and stepping out into the sunlight. It hurt his eyes a little. After the dim, sterile blue lights of the hospital and the dark comfort of his room and unconsciousness it seemed so bright even through the clouds, which hid the clear sky. He looked around. Relief swept over him as he spotted Tyler, leaning casually against the wall next to the door. His friend strode over and took hold of his arm. Despite his protests Reid was glad of the support. He had lost a lot of blood and his body had taken so much abuse, had so little nourishment, that it was taking time to recover.

Tyler carefully helped him into the car before climbing into the drivers seat and starting the engine. They drove in a somewhat awkward silence. Every few minutes Tyler would glance over at Reid, as if making sure he was still okay. Still breathing. Reid pretended not to notice, leaning his head back on the seat and angling it so he could look out the window. Pretending to watch the scenery somehow made it easier to pretend that everything was still normal. That Tyler had just picked him up and was driving him to school like he did at the start of every term. But this time there was no bag in the back. None of his belongings. It wasn't like he had anything special. Nothing at the house anyway. He wasn't stupid enough to leave things that mattered where they might be smashed, or used as impromptu weapons, in the heated throes of his stepfather's favourite game.

Eventually the scenery changed and Reid noticed they were heading out of the town and into the countryside. He glanced across at Tyler. They hadn't actually discussed where Reid was going to go, he had simply assumed he would go back into the dark hell that was his home, had been his home since he was fourteen. And they weren't going to the Danvers colony house, or their mansion, they were both in the other direction.

"Tyler, where are we going?" Tyler almost visibly flinched at the quiet submission in his friend's voice. Reid Garwin was not supposed to be afraid or submissive. He was brash and bold and frequently lied and cheated just to annoy. He wasn't quiet and he wasn't supposed to be the one meekly following. He always told Tyler what they were doing not the other way around. This Reid was different. This was the Reid who came out late at night, when he was asleep, or so close it didn't matter. The one who asked Tyler to turn on the light. Who fell asleep holding onto Tyler's hand and who cried out in his dreams. He was like a little child again. So desperate for approval and for someone to care.

"We're just going out to my house Reid. You can stay there until we can deal with this." Reid sank back into his seat. Immensely reassured by not only what Tyler had said but how he had said it. No shouting or anger. Just soft reassurance.

They pulled up at Tyler's house some time later, the uncomfortable silence eased somewhat. Neither spoke as Tyler half walked, half carried Reid into the house and up the stairs. In a room at the top he carefully propped his friend up on the bed before leaving to get some lunch. By the time Tyler got back Reid had fallen asleep. He stayed for a while to be sure he was alright. Bustling around and checking his pulse among the other things the nurses had taught him when he'd first asked if he could take Reid home. They hadn't wanted Reid let out yet but suspicion was arising and Tyler wasn't sure Reid was ready to talk yet. It had been hard enough lying to the rest of the Covenant, the authorities would have to wait until Reid was comfortable enough to talk to his brothers. At the moment talking to strangers would only make the problem worse.

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**_So now there's only two chapters to go. Who's going to read the sequel? Review and let me know._**

**_Sammy_**


	11. Even In Death

**_Ok, well once again Shadowmayne deserves a mention for forcing me to put this up tonight. So be nice to me and maybe I'll put the last chapter up tomorrow. Then it's onto the sequel. Who's looking forward to more Reid angst and torture and a little bit of Tyler torture thrown in for that extra spice? Hmmm?_**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't own the song which is another great song by Evanescence, damn that girl can sing.

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_**

_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone_

_I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong_

_Moonlight on the soft brown earth_

_It leads me to where you lay_

_They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

Pogue walked slowly down the long isles of graves. Caleb was beside him, dressed somewhat somberly for this occasion. He hadn't asked his best friend how he had known. Caleb had just been waiting out the front of the house in his car out the front that morning. Pogue had climbed in silently, the somewhat amateurish bunch of flowers resting in his lap. It was a nice day, quite warm but with a crisp bite to the air making him feel gloriously alive and guilt free. He wasn't wearing the stiff mourning colour's, they had been ruined when he got back from the funeral. Instead he wore a pair of jeans. A dark blue pair, unfazed by time or care. And a black shirt. A proper shirt, one of the only ones he bothered to keep. Worn but clean and neatly pressed. He had kissed Kate goodbye outside the dorms that morning as she straightened his collar. Remembering that he raised his hand, just brushing his fingers over where hers had been. Remembering her silent support. Her understanding that this was something he had to do and the she couldn't come.

_I will stay forever here with you_

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

He stood up from the grave, dusting off his hands.

"You know, a while after they first buried her I refused to leave here. I came back after the funeral. It was raining and I just sat with my back against her headstone for hours. It wasn't until I passed out and they carried me back that I left."

Caleb silently leant against him slightly. Letting him know he was there without putting any pressure on him. Letting him speak his own way.

"I sat here for two hours. I wouldn't eat anything and or talk to anyone. I'm not sure what I was thinking or doing. I guess I just couldn't understand why she had left and I couldn't go. After a while my father gave up trying to drag me back in. I kept Using to get them to leave me alone."

He turned and briefly rested his head on his friends shoulder. No sobs came, no tears ran through his eyelashes. He had cried enough the weeks since the funeral. Sitting in the rain as the sky wept with him and sobbing until his eyes couldn't open and his throat was raw with calling her name. When he woke up back at the family house in her room with the drip feeding into his arm he had been so angry. But it had been sunny and for some reason he couldn't come back. It was like he'd built up these walls around himself and he couldn't violate them. In case they all came crashing down and he was trapped. Trapped beneath his memories, his regrets.

_Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love_

_But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love_

_They don't know you can't leave me_

_They don't hear you singing to me_

He had dreamt he heard her. He'd get up in the night and walk to her room, half asleep. And it was only when he opened the cupboard to find all her medicines gone that he remembered she was dead. Once he remembered sometimes nothing would happen. He would just walk back to his room and sleep with his troubled dreams for the rest of the night. But sometimes, sometimes some of his grief would leak under the walls. And even that tiny bit would burn the still gaping hole she had left in his heart. He knew that if it all broke through before he was ready he would die. There was no question of it in his mind. He would climb into her bed and lie there, his tears soaking the pillow, for hours. Nothing could get him up in the mornings. The light never touched this room. But gradually the bed lost her familiar scent and began to take on the smell of his own sorrow. The familiar apparatus disappeared and the dreams changed. She would still call him but he would remember further back. He would remember halfway up the stairs and walk to the kitchen for water, knowing his parents were lying awake and listening, not fooled by his change of direction. The night he remembered in his own bed he wept there. Knowing he had truly begun to let her go. That gradually the sorrow that leaked under the walls was being absorbed back into his heart. And though it would never completely heal the hole would not always burn at the slightest memory.

_I will stay forever here with you_

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

He knew that as long as he remembered her with love she would not be gone. That while she may no longer walk the halls of the house she would always walk the halls of his mind and sleep in the chamber of his heart. Where it truly mattered.

And though his parents may bluster and feel shame for the illness their ward had suffered he would always be proud of the girl he thought of as his little sister. He would know she had been brave until the end. She had not denied it but nor had she denied her fear. She had known someone was beside her and as long as he remembered her legacy and felt no shame he would be honouring her. Even if he couldn't bring her back he could always push her forwards. It wasn't about letting her go, it was about waiting. He knew he had a lot left for in this life but he also knew that when his time came he had nothing to fear from death. That there was someone on the other side for him.

_And I can't love you, anymore than I do_

_I will die, but real love is forever.

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**_AWWWWW, that even made my heart melt and it's made of bloody stone. The image of Pogue sitting by her grave like he sat by her bed screaming at the sky? I surprised myself. I didn't like this chapter at first and it took a lot of work, but I'm quite proud of how it turned out. Tell me what you thought._**

**_Sammy_**


	12. Bleed

_I promise I'll write the third one as soon as I get through with re-editing Night Life. To any newcomers...let me know what you thought! To any old hands who reread to see what I'd added...I hope you're not too disappointed in me. Leave me a review and let me know?

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**_Well here it is, the last chapter –sniff- I promised myself I wouldn't cry –tear- usual drill: read on and tell me what you think –runs off in tears-_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own them please don't kill me I promise I'll give them back when I've finished torturing them. There's still a sequel or two to go though, so you'll have to be patient. I also don't own the song which is once again by Evanescence.

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_How can I pretend that I don't see_

_What you hide so carelessly_

_I saw her bleed_

_And you heard me breath_

_And I froze inside myself_

_And turned away_

_I must be dreaming_

Tyler sighed and pulled himself out of bed as soft cries from the next room grew louder. He wasn't worried they would wake anyone, he hadn't truly been asleep anyway. He just wanted to check on the rooms occupant. He picked his way over the spotless wooden floor and out into the icy hallway. Only a few steps down the hall he left it again and entered another bedroom. The dim light streaming from the tiny lamp in the corner threw horrific shadows on the wall as Reid thrashed under the many covers heaped upon the luxurious bed.

Reid, among his other odd needs, seemed unable to sleep in an ordinary bed. Instead he nested. Wrapping himself in a fluffy blanket he would disappear into the pile of quilts and pillows which were mounded on the bed. Despite this desperate burrowing he also seemed unable to sleep without some form of light within the room. The dark seem to terrify him, waking him from his light slumber with apparent nightmares through which he would scream into the night. Yet a light left casually too near the entrance to his cave seemed to terrify him as well. Tyler suspected this might have something to do with the burns scars marring Reid's forearms and hands. He'd seen them before of course, but he had always accepted Reid's story of a foolishly left candle as a child, now he wasn't so sure.

_We all live, we all die_

_That does not begin to justify you_

The number of things that terrified this new Reid seemed innumerable. The abuse inflicted on him unimaginable. And still the others no closer to knowing. This bothered Tyler. He could handle not telling the authorities, the Covenant could handle things within itself. They had always protected their own where possible. The way he felt towards Reid's stepfather the man was lucky to be alive and he wasn't sure the others would be so lenient. It bothered him, splitting their knowledge like this. He didn't like lying to his brothers.

_It's not what it seems_

_Not what you think_

_No, I must be dreaming_

_It's only in my mind_

_Not real life_

_No, I must be dreaming_

How had he missed it for so long? Missed the signs that this was happening to his brother? His best friend? Reid had always been there for him. He knew every dirty little secret of Tyler's past. He even knew about the dreams her had of his mother coming back. And Tyler had thought he'd known Reid. But now he was seeing a whole other side to the blonde boy.

This new Reid was terrified of everything. Pitifully grateful for everything and anything Tyler did for him. He shied at shadow and jumped at sounds. Not only that but it was as Reid had described; he seemed unable to use his powers. It was a concerning thought, that fear could so completely rob someone of their will. Of their life. He hated to think what it would do to Reid should he see his stepfather after his ascension. He shuddered at the thought then firmly reminded himself that Reid would never have to go anywhere near his stepfather ever again.

_Help you know I've got to tell someone_

_Tell them what I know you've done_

_I fear you but spoken fears can come true_

_We all live, we all die_

_That does not begin to justify you_

It was impossible to know what to do with Reid. Tyler supposed he would have to go back to school when it started again. But how Reid would cope he didn't know. Would he revert to the old Reid? At least while others were around? Or had the strange things and apparently unknown kindness been enough to jolt him out of his routine? He seemed to manage well enough when the others came to visit but they had only been a few times.

Part of Tyler was furious at them for not caring about their injured brother more and not noticing his strange and slightly reclusive behaviour when they came. Another part was glad that they stayed away, removing the necessity of lying to them so often. He hoped Reid would let him tell them soon. But somehow he doubted it. The boy seemed to have a hard enough time talking to him, let alone facing the others. Yet a third and rather shamed part of him reminded him that until not too long ago he'd been ready to dismiss all Reid's obscure behaviour as well.

_It's not what it seems_

_Not what you think_

_No I must be dreaming_

_It's only in my mind_

_Not real life_

_No I must be dreaming_

_We all live we all die_

_That does not begin to justify you_

He carefully extracted Reid from his blankets which appeared to have collapsed on him, or perhaps he liked them that way, it was hard to tell, and held the boy in his arms. For a moment Reid thrashed unseeing, lashing out and caught Tyler a glancing blow on his lip. He felt the skin split and warm blood drip onto his chin, but he didn't let go of his friend. Gradually Reid calmed down until he was curled in Tyler's lap. Once again Tyler marvelled at how small and light his friend was without his blustering attitude.

"You projected such a huge personality we never noticed how little you grew or how much weight you lost." Reid blinked and opened his eyes. He relaxed for a moment then seemed to come to his senses. He tried to stand up and because Tyler wasn't ready for it he instinctively tried to hold onto his friend. This ended up with both of them lying on the cold floor beside the bed. Tyler sat up, laughter in his face and froze when he noticed the look of terror on Reid's face.

"I'm sorry." Tyler was still shocked at the unashamed fear in his friends voice as he curled up, even though this had happened a few times over the period of time Reid had been staying with him.

"Reid." He called gently, kneeling beside his friends curled form.

"Reid, I'm not going to hurt you. It's ok." Once again he pulled Reid towards him and simply sat there with his arms around him for however long it took. Eventually Reid uncurled slightly, tears pouring down his face silently as he fought to keep from sobbing. And Tyler sat with him, not demanding anything but simply being there. A warm safe presence in the darkness. As the dawn broke over the horizon that morning it found both boys stiff and sore but content, asleep on the cold floor of the bedroom. Tear tracks had formed on Reid's face and neither of them woke as a car pulled up in the drive and two figures in sombre yet causal clothes climbed out, having just shared such a scene of their own the boys below continued to the door ready to wake those above. But for the moment the two slept on, unknowing and happy.

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**_Ok, so that's this story over with –sigh- I'm going to miss it._**

**_Make sure you all check out my new one once I put it up, still not sure about the title but I'm certain that now Pogue has accepted and moved on Reid and Tyler will get their fair share of the attention. Probably more than. Anyway, let me know what you thought. See it you can get up to a hundred reviews. I doubt it but if you can the hundredth reviewer can send me and idea for a plot and I'll do my best to write it._**

**_Yours truly,_**

**_Samantha Winchester_**


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